Mother remarried another man after my father’s death and took me and my sister to his house. We were told to call him “dad” but this word for that man never came from my heart. I would address him as “he” as I can’t call him father anymore. It disgusts me so much that I don’t even feel like talking about it, but I will, for the sake of those who are mislead by these fake relations.
Anyways after we moved to his house I realized he doted on me and my little sister. He was apparently a man of immaculate character and this made him our favorite even before our own mother. I was barely twelve years old back then with no knowledge of my physical privacy. With time I realized he touched me at almost every wrong place and when I looked at his face he seemed to be doing it unintentionally. Confused I had to brush everything aside until one night he came and touched me again.
That night I was sure it was not unintentional and he was doing it on purpose. When I confronted him about it, he said it was my dream and nothing else.
He convinced me that it was a dream and I fell prey to his tactic this time. The day it dawned upon me that it was not a dream; he threatened me that he will kick us out of his house and tell everyone that I had been seducing him. I was therefore forced to keep quiet about it and it went on for some years until I gathered the courage to tell my best friend about it. By that time I was in tenth grade when my friend suggested me to start crying loudly when he comes near me for that purpose.
Devastated, broken but still on the lookout to get rid of this nauseating experience I pushed for the one last time and astonishingly it worked. So the next time he came near me I threatened him with waking everyone. This way I got rid of that monster and also alerted my sister to stay on guard.
Now it was a secret between me, my sister, my best friend and that monster. Mom still does not know a thing about it. For me the worst had happened and my purpose in sharing this is nothing more that educating people about how to save your children from sexual abuse because even after going through this trauma I still held myself guilty. I wanted to kill myself thinking it was all my fault. In my case it happened because:
Why it happened?
- My mother remarried even though her daughters were entering teenage.
- She thought he was treating us like his own daughter which was not true.
- She knew we trusted him more than her and this didn’t alert her.
- Many times she would leave us alone at home with him.
- She was busy all day doing house chores in order to make sure she keeps his happy so that he keeps providing us sustenance.
- We were not properly sexually educated. We were not allowed to talk about these things freely with her or even each other.
- I thought if I tell her anything about her husband she would be mad at me and not believe me.
How it could have been thwarted?
Also read: How to Save your Child from Abuse?
- Not marrying this man or any man. She could live with her parents or brothers at least they were our own blood.
- Not letting us get close to that man.
- Secretly keeping an eye on him.
- Making sure her daughters were coming to her for everything and not to him.
- By giving us timely sex-education and not making it a taboo.
Also read: Child abuse: Keep an eye on Van Drivers!
As they say “I have been through hell and back” is probably my case now. I and my sister are married now but my mother still lives with that monster. We are gathering source for our mother to move out with us after telling her everything he is done. We don’t know if she will believe us but we have to do it as we can’t visit her with him around. His presence still gives me goose bumps and nauseates me to the core. I hate talking about it as it brings all those tormenting memories back; but for the sake of awareness it has to be discussed, be it anonymously. For single mothers I would say please think twice before marrying someone. It will not be just about the two of you but about your kids too so take this thing into account as well.